Peer pressure is something not only high school students battle. There are social pressures present within every single culture and/or subculture. There are social pressures at your office, in your neighborhood, and even in the church. However, all social pressures are not evil.
If you live in our community of Katy or you live in another suburban culture somewhere else, you have seen some social pressures that pervade our homes. What I have come to call the suburban facade is the social pressure in our community to project an image of perfection of you and your family. This image is projected through various symbols. It can be projected by our possessions such as houses and cars. It can be projected through our parenting as we push our children to extreme success in an abundance of extra-curricular activities and even academic pursuits. It can be projected through our careers in how much we talk about our busyness and long work hours… since, after all, long hours illustrate our importance, right? It can also be projected through church involvement in our attendance at various church events. There are so many other examples we could discuss.
There are many different strategies, but the goal is simply to paint a picture of ourselves and our families as perfect regardless of the honest reality. I have been reflecting on how this relates to a lifestyle of repentance. We have spent some time recently at Crossings Community talking about repentance. Repentance is a necessary part of gospel transformation. In order to walk in true repentance we must be vulnerable enough to walk in confession.
Confession is not some type of punishment for our sins. Confession is how we participate in the great joys of walking in the grace and forgiveness that was purchased by Jesus on the cross. Do you see the tension between our culture’s values and truly experiencing gospel transformation? If we look at this from our culture’s viewpoint then it is impossible to project perfection and experience the joys of confession and repentance. According to our culture, your facade crumbles if you allow anyone to see the true struggles that exist within your home.
The tireless pursuit of the suburban facade is one of the greatest enemies to the families in our community engaging in a true experience of the gospel. Confession and repentance are a mark of spiritual maturity. Confession and repentance are the evidence of someone who is experiencing the great joys of an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Therefore, I would humbly submit to you that we should worry more about those who are not walking in confession than those who are confessing. Rather than judging the person who we see asking for prayer or who is visibly broken by the spirit of God, we should find ourselves lovingly concerned over those who are not. We are all sinners in need of confession. Confession and repentance are practices in which every single follower of Jesus is called to participate.
What if we began to turn our culture’s view of perfection upside down? What if we began to see those who are openly broken and repentant as the ones who truly walk in intimacy with our Savior? What if we removed judgment from confession and became broken over those elevating the facade of perfection over the gift of grace? What if people became so hungry for hopefulness amidst their darkness that they too the risk of engaging in confession and repentance with trusted followers of Jesus?
I understand that this is an enormous challenge for our community and those like it. However, I do not think the gospel can truly take root in a life that is elevating the suburban facade over the joys of gospel transformation.
Would you be willing to share the joys you have experienced through walking in confession and repentance? Or, maybe you have some concerns and anxieties about these disciplines that would be helpful for others to hear?
Matt Powell serves as teaching pastor at Crossings Community Church, a body of believers whose mission is to engage, equip, and empower homes for gospel transformation in Katy, TX.
This facade is ever present in Tyler, TX as well!! Praying for the walls to break down in our communities!
It’s a disease that I am prone to contract all too often. Church culture in the south can be stifling to spiritual growth. If everyone has it together, who would want to admit they don’t. That’s why it is CRITICAL for leaders to be transparent. Few will take their mask off if leaders at all levels in the church have their’s firmly attached to their face.
It’s also the root of the hypocrisy that is driving the younger generations away. Jesus can’t be Lord of your life if you’ve got it all together! So we can’t preach that He is Lord of our life and then not live that out in front of them. I’m guilty of this as well and The Lord has been dealing with me over the last few years about it. I’m done pretending. I know I don’t have it all together!
I pray it does as well, Kristin. Although I don’t know much at all about Tyler… I know these realities are not unique to our community.
Thanks for your comment!
Doesn’t this problem cry out for small group discipleship? When people are engaged in small groups, they become known for who they really are, which are sinners who have much to repent of and much to learn from other believers. This cannot be overemphasized. No matter how dynamic and biblically faithful the preaching is on Sundays, the tough work of confession and repentance is fostered most effectively in smaller group settings as discussed in Hebrews 10.
Hebrews 10
24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
Absolutely agreed!
We can respond in confession to the work of the Holy Spirit on a Sunday morning. We can also begin the process of repentance on a Sunday morning. However, the true process of repentance is most definitely best fostered in community. If we are not including others in our journey of repentance then we only have to justify our continued sin to one person (ourselves).
Just sent this article to my pastor.
If anything, confession in a community setting or small group has encouraged me to be more serious about my sin. When I think I’ve got it all together, yet see someone I greatly admire admit sin and discuss transformation, scales fall off my eyes and I so often see the same in my own heart. But to see someone then walking in the freedom of His grace gives me the hope and confidence in Jesus that indeed, He is who He says He is, and He can do what He says He can do. I am then motivated to confess and repent, and with freedom, share with others what the Lord has done in my life without shame, but rather, thankfulness. I think people can see through the fake stuff really quickly, but it’s humility and truth that leaves a lasting impression.
I love that perspective. Our call to walk in repentance is not only about us and our growth alone. That’s huge….
Some of my greatest moments of growth have come while walking in obedience to James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” It’s in those moments of open confession that I am forced to face my fear of man, and reaffirm my hope in the gospel. I have experience true healing in walking to obedience to God’s Word(James 5:16)
It really boils down to how much we believe the gospel, is it Christ’s work that has set us free, or is it our good works that qualify us? When I refuse to walk in open confession I’m placing faith in my performance and good works over the perfect work of Christ in my broken life. The gospel is not something I can outgrow in my walk, it’s not something that is only for the infants or non-believers. My hearing and believing in the gospel is just as essential for me today as it was the day I first believed. I say all that to say, my flesh desires to make the story of my life about anything but the perfect work of Christ. But it is the good news that empowers me to walk in humility and confession rejoicing in the gift of His death and resurrection.
I think we need to constantly remind ourselves and each other of this…. As you rightly said, we are missing out on some of our greatest moments of spiritual growth when we shy away from confession and repentance.
Like Daniel, I too have found so much freedom and joy in following the biblical model of confession in James 5. I remember one particularly time when I had been harboring bitterness toward one of my coworkers who knew nothing about it. Thankfully the Lord convicted me to go to him and confess my sin against him and seek reconciliation, a la Matthew 5:24. I still remember how uncomfortable I was at first to openly confess my thoughts to him but even as I did it allowed him the opportunity to show grace toward me and practice forgiveness in his own life. It was an amazing experience and ultimately brought so much joy and a deeper trust in our friendship. So it truly is incredible to see how much joy the Lord has for us when we walk in the light as he is in the light rather than trying to hide our deeds in darkness.