We’ve talked through some of the struggles around being a biblical husband. We also tip-toed into the waters of being a biblical wife. So, if the husband is pursuing Jesus and leading his submissive and Jesus-loving wife, then it is all a walk in the park. I can definitely tell you after only 15 years of marriage that the preceding statement is a bold-faced lie. Husbands, if you are pursuing a growing relationship with Jesus through his word and his church and leading your home, then you have all the tools required to navigate the most difficult storms. Wives, if you are pursuing a growing relationship with Jesus through his word and his church while submitting to and encouraging your husband’s leadership, then you have all the tools required to navigate the most difficult storms.
I have an awesome wife who loves Jesus and encourages my leadership in our home. Further, I am a man who is pursuing a growing relationship with Jesus and striving to lead well. Even with all of that we still have difficult seasons. We have seasons when our communication is strained, edgy, or even non-existent. We have seasons in which I do not lead well which cultivates consequences in our relationship. We also have seasons where outside circumstances that are out of our control put an unusual amount of stress on our relationship. Often times we do not respond well to those circumstances and begin taking it out on each other. Pursuing a life which is faithful to the pages of the Bible does not shield us from difficulty. Rather, pursing a biblical life (whether in regards to marriage or not) provide us with the hope and strength to endure the most difficult of circumstances.
Our equipping in Christ allows us to navigate the storms and come out in a stronger marriage than when we entered. Marriage is a journey of sanctification. Our sinfulness will be present until the day in which Christ returns. The obstacles in our life are moments when Christ makes himself known and our dependence upon him grows. The marriage relationship is no different. We will face difficulties and those difficulties in our marriage will bring conviction, repentance, humility, and gospel transformation. If we are functioning in our God-given roles within the relationship, then we will find that each year of marriage not only brings a growing relationship with Jesus but also growing intimacy between husband and wife.
Amidst all of the continued mistakes that I make… and, to be totally honest, even the mistakes my wife occasionally makes, we enjoy each other exponentially more than we did the day we met. This is true only because I’m pursuing Christ and the leadership of my home, while my bride is pursuing Christ as well as the submission and encouragement of my leadership.
Wives, submission does not mean silence or complacency. As we grow in Christ, we grow in biblical wisdom which is a phenomenal blessing within any marriage. Speak honestly and prayerfully to your husband and then encourage him to lead with the wisdom God has provided (through scripture, his wife, and the Godly men of his church).
Husbands, run after Christ in a way that is inspirational to your bride. Love her sacrificially with such vigor that she desires to follow you into the darkest moments of your life. Listen to her well because the Holy Spirit has given you a gift in her knowledge and wisdom.
Couples, glorify God together as you navigate the greatest and the worst of times all the while being transformed by gospel of Jesus Christ.
Have there been moments in your marriage where you’ve seen your spiritual growth have a significant impact on the obstacles you have faced?