You will often hear someone refer to a person they are planning to marry as someone with whom they have much in common. This idea seems to be rooted deeply in our culture when we begin to talk about finding that special someone with whom we will spend the rest of our life.
We often spend those initial stages of discovery focused on how alike we are and then shortly after the wedding day the conversation changes to how different we are. We go from having everything in common to not even speaking the same language almost overnight. There has to be a Hollywood romantic comedy to be found in that saga…
I believe the truth we miss, and then struggle to ever find, is seeing the blessings in the beauty of diversity. Although we may be blind to it in our initial courtship days, God brings two people together who are incredibly diverse in gifts, passions, personality, and experience.
Unfortunately, when this diversity begins to surface in the marriage relationship it causes surprise. Each party then finds their corner of the ring in preparation to come out fighting for what they had once assumed was an agreed upon philosophy.
The Bible clearly paints the picture of an exchange of blessing through the wife’s submission, encouragement, and respect of her husband as well as the husband’s sacrifice and leadership of his wife. While those characteristics do not even scratch the surface, they characterize just a brief glimpse into the way God desires the gifts and calling of each to compliment one another.
It is necessary for any lasting and healthy marriage to find the beauty amidst the diversity between husband and wife. Yes, it may have seemed like you had everything in common at one point but you have found a day (or that day is coming) when all of the things you do not have in common are being highlighted. You will solve problems differently. You will see situations from different view points. The nuance of difference in a marriage relationship becomes an unconquerable divide without the right (biblical) perspective.
Learn to love all of the things that are not held in common. Learn to love the way your spouse solves problems or sees situations differently than you do. This is God’s gift to you.
PSA: You are not always right and your exact approach is rarely the best approach.
God gifted you with a spouse whose wisdom is a gift to you. There is beauty in the diversity of marriage because the gifts and wisdom of husband and wife who are being transformed by the gospel of Jesus Christ is much stronger than the wisdom of the one.
See the beautiful gift that God has given you in the diversity between you and your spouse. Ask God to give you the eyes to see the beauty amidst the diversity between you. This gift will enrich our marriages and be a greater picture of the gospel to those around us.
How has the diversity in your marriage brought greater strength to your relationship with each other and your relationship with Jesus?